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I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.

However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).

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So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.

We must be aware of our own behavior in the dating game, because we are active participants in how we are treated.

You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.

Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.

The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.

This breeds a generation of men who have habits of looking after their own needs versus the needs of the collective. Europeans don’t get their sexual education from porn. European men have a different perception of beauty.

For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).